You don't need to try, it's already about you.

School. Bowling. PJ Live. Debate. Its all kinda overwhelming. Not stressful though...I'm David and I don't get stressed. Mildly pressuring I must say. Its a good thing debate's over...hopefully.*crosses fingers*. However it sucks hard that I'm sort of inadequate at almost everything. Jack of all trades as they say. I've had Bernard tell me its all sorted out and stuff, guess its just me and my inferiority complex. Or maybe I've just been myself for too long.....all slack and never putting in what I should be putting in. I seriously wanna put more into my life, understanding econs, getting that 180-190 average as opposed to my present 160 average not screwing up my riffs and all. But I just never could get off my lazy ass to do something about it. I wanna change man, seriously~ even if I get laughed at or whatever. At least I won't regret not being the person I'm supposed to be the day I die.

I'm so emo.

Got posted to PJC(arts). Duh~ I could actually not log into the MOE site. Just head down to PJ tomorrow and I would already have been be registered there. I sound totally enthu about this...

Going to Pioneer JC soon, most probably, definitely not a matter of choice. I gonna let the cat out of the bag: I'm freaking scared. Scared of the fact that PJ is the "second" BP. No secret that my secondary school day were my worse, and the notion of going back to same culture just freaks me out. MI has been surreal, like a whole 8 weeks of fantasy, an escape from responsibility and mundane stuff like homework and stuff. We pretty much did what ever the fuck we wanted. But through this joyrous period of time, no sarcasm intended, remmants of what I was. I can't seem to forget the sort of self destructive person I was in the past. Not an extreme case for sure, no wrist cutting involved, but I tortured myself enough. I've sorta got over that phrase of life I guess....but I know I was just responding to the people I got involved with. In a nutshell, it motherfucking sucked. Don't wanna thread out of the shadows just to be sucked straight back in. We don't arrive without a surprise, trying to fill that void, trying to conform, trying to be accepted, trying to wade in assurance, but really......I'm just a motherfucking case study of rare species too weird to live but too precious to die.

Haven't posted in a really long time. I'm currently "studying" in MI. Notice the inverted commas. School life there is really different from JC life, or so I heard. Everyday is the skipping tutorials and lectures, playing ball and chilling out with friends and classmates, quite monotonous in a sense. But the whole experience just differs from the years in bpghs, in a sense that I've somehow managed to open up alot more, gain some insight on what its like to be that kind of person. Enriching in its own way I guess. Just hope my results don't screw...Arrgh. The thought of what comes tomorrow. Well, all the best to you people receiving results tomorrow.....Ciao.